I’ve been thinking/feeling/meditating on the idea of this testimonial, and I’m not sure you’ll want to publish what I write. I’m still in some doubt regarding my transition to the second level but maybe it would be good for others to hear about these more subtle initiations that occur.

According to what I heard from the Spiritual Hierarchy, it’s now been 2 weeks since I attained second level. And I’m still not completely convinced that I made it. There are moments when I realize that I have learned to give myself completely to the Light and Sound. These moments are relatively short but they are full of waves of light and sound energy and have taken many forms for me.

The most important realization that I had during the Grace period was the absolute knowing that nothing about me was pure enough to travel on the Light and Sound other than my Essence. Eventually my Essence separated from my personality and traveled to beautiful places, to love, to peacefulness, and to rest in the Void. All of this was, and is, simply beautiful.

But I have been to these places before. I’ve been to them in a variety of ways — from psychedelic trips in the 70’s, to Reiki initiations, to the giving and receiving of energy healing, to Buddhist meditations, to the Western Mysteries, and now through the Light and Sound. And the truth is I don’t feel that much different. I am perhaps more tuned in to the spontaneous experiences in my life and I may be feeling a slight bit less separation from the One Self. And though I may be vibrating at a slightly higher octave, it really doesn’t feel that different from where I’ve been before. In other words, there’s still some “not knowing” within me.

I can look at this “not knowing” as a symptom of the part of me that still needs to grow into love of Self and love of the One. But I can also look at it as a real experience of my awareness and not immediately think that there’s something wrong with me if I can’t quite trust that this new state is a lasting state.

So all in all, I’m still in transition. And maybe that’s a great place to be. I’m still meditating every day and I still intend to put in more hours during Grace periods. But I’m also in a “it remains to be seen” state of Mind and Being while consciously working to keep the doors open and the walls down. I’m allowing time to show me the truth.

Perhaps where I am now will ring some bells with others. Perhaps not. Regardless, it feels important to me that we keep these conversations open, honest, and flowing.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, feeling, and being with the Second Initiation (3 weeks now) and I’d like to update my previous testimony.

First, it really was pretty subtle for me and that got in the way of my expectations. For instance, I found myself waiting for something completely different that never really came. When I first went beyond the mind, it didn’t feel completely different. Instead, it felt like other events in my psyche. Of course now I realize that it actually was literally mind-blowing.

Second, I think my ego got in the way of really believing that it could be so simple. Not to say that I didn’t put a whole lot of meditational time in, because I did. But in the end, it was a simple letting go. I allowed the Light and Sound to “take me.” And when I was finally able to let this happen, it did. Then, in my fear, my ego underplayed what had occurred in order to keep me from claiming my new sense of real progress on the path.

As these 3 weeks have passed I’ve noticed several things that have truly changed. For one thing, meditation is much easier and deeper — my mind really isn’t in the way as much! I finally look forward to meditating rather than regarding it as a task to complete. Another change has been a deepening of love for others. I’ve watched events that in the past would have triggered judgmental and critical responses from me. Thankfully, I recognized that I was getting triggered and I responded with love. And beautiful gentle love has responded back to me.

Mostly, I am so grateful for the gifts of the Light and Sound and for all the support from those who may have felt a little frustrated with my initial response. Thanks so much for hanging in there with me!